slimiest:

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

exghoulfriend:

it is crucial to believe and respect girls when they say a guy is giving them bad vibes even if they don’t give you a reason why

lembre-sedisso:

“The saddest word in the whole wide world is the word almost.” (Tiny Stories)

I love playing Prince Hal…

sext: it is a humid night in july. we undress each other in the back of your car and form one mound of sweaty flesh. sext: fireflies fall on your skin. i kiss the trail they leave to find your light. sext: we share a bath and come out dripping each other. sext: the atomic bomb is not as loud as my heartbeat when you lie next to me. sext: come over, i want to taste moonlight when it’s licked off your skin. sext: we undo each other and come back together in one hot flash of light. sext: you burn over everyone else’s touch. sext: they dust me for fingertips and find nothing but your claw marks. sext: the sound of your teeth digging into my bare skin and my moans are the most beautiful duet. sext: you are 48% water. i would be happy to drown in you. sext: you are the poem i will spend my whole life trying to write.

Well, I am 1300 years older than you. au: susan stays

When I was eight, I was confused about being called ‘bossy’ because I wanted to direct the plays that we would put on for our parents. But the boys were not. When at 14, I started to be sexualized by certain elements of the media. When at 15, my girlfriends started dropping out of their beloved sports teams because they didn’t want to appear ‘muscle-y.’ When at 18, my males friends were unable to express their feelings; I decided that I was a feminist.” 

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